Dealing With the Empty Nest Syndrome
When you’ve spent all your time, attention and money devoted to raising children for twenty to thirty years or more, life can seem more than a little empty once those kids are grown up enough to leave home. There’s actually a feeling of emptiness, loneliness, and loss that’s known as empty nest syndrome. Many parents have a difficult time getting used to the children being gone, and sometimes it can take awhile to adjust.
Empty nest syndrome is often more difficult for Moms than it is Dads, but both men and women experience the feeling of loss. In most cases, Mom and Dad aren’t quite sure what they’re supposed to be doing in life now that they’re no longer raising kids. It’s perfectly natural to feel a bit sad or depressed during this period, but there are also things you can both do to help yourself deal with empty nest syndrome.
First and foremost, you need to allow yourself a period of rest. When the kids first leave home, there is often a whirlwind of activity involved. Maybe they just finished graduating high school and are now off at college, a new job, or in the military. Getting them ready for those new life experiences was a very busy period, and you may be both physically and mentally exhausted.
Once you’ve had time to rest, relax, and enjoy your quiet time though is when things can get the most depressing. The house may start to seem too big and quiet, and you may start wondering what in the world you’re supposed to do with yourself now.
The answer is to try and get active. If you have friends and family around you, try spending more time with them. Go out on dates with your spouse for instance, or organize outings, parties or get togethers for friends and family.
Also think hard about your personal likes and dislikes. Now that your children are grown and gone, it’s much more easy for you to take up new or old hobbies, try something different, and explore various interests. Think about when you were younger, before you settled down to have a family. What did you like to do with your free time then? Did you have dreams, goals and ambitions that had to be set aside when you started your family?
Think too, back along the last twenty to thirty years as you were raising your children. Did you ever dream about doing something else? Did you ever wish you had the time or money to devote to a specific hobby? Maybe you’ve always longed for a trip to an exotic land, or dreamed of writing a book you started as a teenager.
Doing something new is always fun and exciting. If you feel like you’re not yet ready to make any major changes in your life or lifestyle though, think about taking small baby steps. There are plenty of hobbies that can be done right at home for instance, such as sewing, gift basket making, and scrapbooking. In fact, scrapbooking may be an excellent transition activity for you to do. You’ll be able to dig out all the kids stuff you’ve been collecting over the years, and start to put it into some sort of organizational format that can be enjoyed for years to come.
Looking for more information on Marriage or Long Term Relationships? YourLifeAfter50.com is an authoritative site for baby-boomers and issues that affect them.
Jerry Stearns is a writer and the editor for YourLifeAfter50.com, which is a website devoted to baby-boomers and their issues such as Family Relationships, Health and Dating. Copyright 2007 YourLifeAfter50 http://www.yourlifeafter50.com
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